I Focus On The Pain

The only thing that's real.

It's the line from a song and for those of us who have suffered ongoing, terrible traumas it's often so hard not to focus on the pain.   It's not something we choose but something that is there, right in front of us all the time, overwhelming, debilitating, devastating.  It will drag us down and drown us if we don't at least by some measure learn how to control it.

So how do you heal? How do you rise above? How do you get beyond it? It isn't easy, in fact it may require every bit of  strength and determination you can muster.

First of all, be gentle with yourself.  Even if no one else is kind or gentle, be kind and gentle with yourself.  

It often helps to just sit quietly in meditation and try to find the place of inner peace within.  Quiet the raging, churning waters and find that calm, consoling haven. Linger there a while. Breathe deeply in and out.

Believe there is a God who loves and accepts you unconditionally, who is there for you no matter what, with comforting arms.  Believe that He was always there for you and always was on your side, that He is still on your side.  Ditch that cranky, sadistic, judgemental, unreasonable "God" who lives in your head, who is always waiting to find fault and condemn you - realize there is no such "God".

The only real power is love. The only real healing power is love, especially of yourself, by yourself, for yourself. Be kind to yourself. 

Think of that which is beautiful, that which is good. Think about the kindness and goodness you have seen, especially from those you love and who love you.  

Smile when you think of the love in it's many forms which has been shown and given to you - whether it is the embrace of a relative, the blooming of a flower, the warm, golden sun on your skin  or the sweet song of a bird outside your window.  Bathe in such things and let their soft caress encourage you.

Think of a job to do, however small, and focus on completing that one job.  

If you must cry, cry. Tears can heal and wash away pain and grief.  Be gentle with yourself.   It is not "weak" to cry but a perfectly natural gift and balm from a loving heavenly father.  Even Jesus wept.

Resolve to get through this moment.  Resolve to get through this hour, this morning, this day.

Look up and even in a sea of darkness you will always find a star.

“If you knew who walked beside you at all times, on the path that you have chosen, you could never experience fear or doubt again.”

- Wayne Dyer.