I Focus On The Pain

The only thing that's real.

It's the line from a song and for those of us who have suffered ongoing, terrible traumas it's often so hard not to focus on the pain.   It's not something we choose but something that is there, right in front of us all the time, overwhelming, debilitating, devastating.  It will drag us down and drown us if we don't at least by some measure learn how to control it.

So how do you heal? How do you rise above? How do you get beyond it? It isn't easy, in fact it may require every bit of  strength and determination you can muster.

First of all, be gentle with yourself.  Even if no one else is kind or gentle, be kind and gentle with yourself.  

It often helps to just sit quietly in meditation and try to find the place of inner peace within.  Quiet the raging, churning waters and find that calm, consoling haven. Linger there a while. Breathe deeply in and out.

Believe there is a God who loves and accepts you unconditionally, who is there for you no matter what, with comforting arms.  Believe that He was always there for you and always was on your side, that He is still on your side.  Ditch that cranky, sadistic, judgemental, unreasonable "God" who lives in your head, who is always waiting to find fault and condemn you - realize there is no such "God".

The only real power is love. The only real healing power is love, especially of yourself, by yourself, for yourself. Be kind to yourself. 

Think of that which is beautiful, that which is good. Think about the kindness and goodness you have seen, especially from those you love and who love you.  

Smile when you think of the love in it's many forms which has been shown and given to you - whether it is the embrace of a relative, the blooming of a flower, the warm, golden sun on your skin  or the sweet song of a bird outside your window.  Bathe in such things and let their soft caress encourage you.

Think of a job to do, however small, and focus on completing that one job.  

If you must cry, cry. Tears can heal and wash away pain and grief.  Be gentle with yourself.   It is not "weak" to cry but a perfectly natural gift and balm from a loving heavenly father.  Even Jesus wept.

Resolve to get through this moment.  Resolve to get through this hour, this morning, this day.

Look up and even in a sea of darkness you will always find a star.

“If you knew who walked beside you at all times, on the path that you have chosen, you could never experience fear or doubt again.”

- Wayne Dyer.

In A Sea Of Darkness

In a sea of darkness - look for a star. 

In a sea of pain you can  still see the stars. 

Opportunities

Don't look necessarily for miracles. Look for opportunities.

Some Of The Worst People To Be Around

Those with a huge sense of entitlement but no sense of responsibility. 

To Fight Another Day

Answered prayer, success, victory - there are so many ways to look at some of these things but what if it just meant "I live to fight another day". 

Maybe the battle was lost. You felt defeated, overwhelmed, hopeless, even plunged into despair - but despite that you did not lose hope, you did not lose faith - you crawled out from under the wreckage a while later and you faced another day.  

You prayed another day. You fought again.  You bounced back. You did not surrender. 


Is that not a warrior?
 

Moralizing

Moralizing is not the same as helping. It pays to remember that.

 

Pain As A Propeller

Pain is the messenger. What message does the pain bring? Look at the pain and inside the pain. Peel back it's layers - and see too that the pain is a propeller designed to move you, to make you react, respond - so you cannot go on ignoring that which is causing the pain. And then you will see that the pain is a propeller and may even be a gift - to move you in another direction.

You See What You Want To See

But you don't see me.

 

Favourite Quotes

When you want something bad enough you'll tell yourself a thousand lies. - Jodi Picoult.

 This is what I like about photographs. They're proof that once, even if just for a heartbeat, everything was perfect. - Jodi Picoult.

You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories. - Garrison Keillor.

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time you've got. - Art Buchwald.

The morning breeze has secrets to tell you
Do not go back to sleep.

- Rumi

Ugly Or Beautiful

A Real Life

There Are No Ordinary Moments

With The Measure You Use

What some people call excuses other people call reality.  Be kind.

For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. - Jesus,  Matthew 7 : 2

True Empathy

There's a big difference between being patronizing and condescending and true empathy.  It pays to know what that difference is.

The Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
 

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. 

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Desiderata by Max Ehrmann.

(In the public domain).